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  • Writer's pictureEve Bernfeld

Foiled Again

Day 10 of this New Year and already a theme emerges—things rarely go according to plan.

Kid-friendly New Year’s Eve bash? Didn’t make it due to puking kid.

Students eager to get back to work after winter break? Five lessons cancelled this week due to various sicknesses and work obligations.

Visit to the Alexander Teacher Training course to work with my teacher? Her car wouldn’t start so I ended up running the course for the morning.

Brunch with mom friends? Didn’t make it due to puking me.

I’m a planner, see? I already have my summer schedule of kid camps and family travel more or less ironed out. So it’s a hard pill to swallow when everything goes awry. But it occurs to me that there is a bit of a silver lining (as I lie here in bed typing a blog instead of brunching and chatting). Because this deep attachment to planning is kind of a control-freak thing. As if I can control life, death and the unruly world itself by scheduling the right meetings and picking the right summer camps. Which is, to use one of F.M. Alexander’s great words: delusional.

So I’m reminded AGAIN to keep a light grip on the wheel. I’m reminded again of Heraclitus’ basic philosophical tenant: “There is nothing permanent except change.” Which I love in theory and hate in practice. I’m reminded again that the only thing I can (sometimes) control is how I react to this constant flux.

I’ll keep making plans. And hopefully some of them will work out. And hopefully I can still get something out of it when they don’t.

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